A personal reflection on what shapes team culture — and how I try to stay aligned when the systems don't. (Written for myself, but shared for anyone wrestling with the same tension.)

A few years ago, while I was sitting as part of a panel feeling ridiculously out of place, someone asked:

“How do we maintain culture?”

At the time, I didn’t have a clear answer—but in retrospect, the question was akin to asking how to make a kid stop crying after you broke his favorite toy.

The Quiet Rewrite

I used to think culture was something you could name and uphold. Something that could be codified, preserved, protected — like inang's lumpia recipe.

At the time, I saw it as the balance of what you allow, and don't allow. But over time, I’ve come to see it a smidge differently, and more nuanced.

Culture is whatever power permits. Not what it says, not what it aspires to — just what it allows.

And eventually, what it allows becomes what it is.

It’s Not the Values. It’s the Boundaries.

I’ve worked in places where the values sounded right. Human-centered. Collaborative. Honest.

But they were only ever real when nothing was at stake.

The real culture showed up later — when deadlines were missed, or politics flared, or someone powerful behaved badly and no one said anything. That’s when you learn what a place is really built to protect. And in some cases, it isn’t the people.

What You Let Slide Is Who You Become

Culture is made in tiny, forgettable moments.
Who gets praised. Who gets ignored.
What’s punished. What’s excused.
What kind of behavior quietly wins.

Over time, people adjust to those patterns. They learn the real rules.
They stop bringing up what isn’t rewarded.
They stop noticing what’s broken.

They adapt to survive — and adaptation starts to look like alignment.

I Don’t Think Culture Can Be Maintained Anymore

Not in the way people usually mean it.
You can’t protect something if the system that holds it refuses to.
You can’t make values real without consequence.
And you can’t keep something alive when the structure prefers it gone.

You can only choose your response.
To try anyway. To practice what you believe, even if no one notices.
To be one of the few people telling the truth out loud.

What I Try to Do Now

I try to create small, honest environments with a high bar for design.
Not big declarations — just spaces where people feel human again.
Where they don’t have to perform to belong.
Where feedback isn’t loaded.
Where dignity isn’t conditional.

If You’re Trying to Shape Culture, Start Small and Mean It

You don’t need a title. You don’t need a slogan.
You just need clarity. And a refusal to become the thing you say you don’t believe in.

If you want to change the culture, start with your radius.
What you permit. What you reinforce.
What you let slide when no one’s watching.

I’m Still in It

I don’t write this from some place of certainty.
I still bend sometimes. I still make compromises I regret.

But I’m trying to stay awake.
Trying not to normalize what shouldn’t be normal.
Trying not to confuse survival with integrity.

And on the good days, that feels like something worth protecting.